The return of a loved one to Nature is arguably one of the most challenging experiences we will have in life. That is why it is a must to mentally and emotionally prepare ourselves for this eventuality. How do we do this? Epictetus suggested that every time we interact with loved ones, we remind ourselves that they are mortal. A further refinement of this practice is to continually re-experience all the beautiful moments we have had with each loved one and give gratitude. Every beautiful moment exists forever in its time-space. We can revisit these moments in memory. It is good to look at pictures and videos in this practice. We are able to relive every beautiful time. It is not that you have lost anything, but that you appreciate the life you had with them. They are on loan from Nature. We do not control how long we will be with them; therefore, we must focus on loving them now. This does not mean that we do not mourn, but we are able to move on and reduce this suffering as much as possible. Moreover, being mindful during every moment we share with others is critical.
Artistic works can be helpful in this application. The return of loved ones is part of all human experience, so we can strengthen ourselves vicariously. What is the central message of Edgar Allan Poes’ The Raven? It is the deep and severe sadness of the loss of a loved one. Poe uses repetition throughout the poem to reinforce this message in the word, “Nevermore” and the mirror phrase, “nothing more.” He repeats this phrase no less than 14 times in a poem barely over 4 pages long. But he starts out the series with “evermore” meaning that even though Lenore is no more, she is still evermore in his heart. Likewise all of our loved ones are evermore in our hearts.
Poe also repeats rhyming pairs as in “more” and “Lenore” throughout the poem. These two forms, repetition and rhyming, are the principle way that Poe communicates his message in The Raven. There is also a great use of symbolism in the form of the raven itself. The raven is a traditional symbol of death presumably because in nature the bird eats dead animals as a scavenger. Therefore, the raven is a harbinger of death and loss. In addition, Poe pairs the idea of someone at the door (a spirit?), and the physical form of the raven. The Raven is a haunting poem full of sadness, longing, and beauty. So, we must concentrate on what we control, that is the act of loving. This is a practice.
